Gifts of Clarity

Our arrival into Tulsa occurred at sunset. Sunsets in Oklahoma can be quite breathtaking if the west Tulsa refinery fumes don’t make you choke to death first.  My first year living in the mountains impacted me in the most profound ways.  Imagine a whole year of breathing and consuming clean, non-toxic, nourishing air and water.  No refineries, no lingering in heavy traffic sucking on exhaust fumes.  No air conditioning with dust filled filters to clean. My cells came alive, my skin cleared up, my body weight decreased and my overall vitality increased ten-fold.

Within the first week of our visit here, my husband and I were plagued with intense fever and illness, allergy issues, breathing problems, skin breakouts, and fatigue.  As the fevers have subsided, the other issues continue to persist. Striving to find a state of balanced health has been more of a struggle to stay afloat, in this cess-pool of a city.

The cells in my body do not feel alive here. They feel suffocated by the heavy energy, the massive air pollution, and the overall toxicity of this place. Crime, poverty, filthy parks, dangerously stressful driving conditions and exhaust fumes are certainly playing their part too.  Coming “home” to family has also had its fair share of toxic contributions; providing another truly awakening experience. 

These circumstances are certainly unfortunate hurdles; yet they have indeed become gifts of clarity.  This journey was not a mistake, it is in fact one of the most eye opening experiences yet.  I have obtained valuable medicine and received unexpected guidance for resolving a health issue.  11:11 is a frequently seen good sign. My recent trip out of state to meet my in-laws awakened me to my new role as an aunt, reminding me of the power of being a good role model. The sense of inner peace that floods over me during my work days at the yoga studio remind me of the importance of my gift as a healer in this community.   I have been showered with love, fully embraced, and honored to be in the presence of such luminescent friends and clients.  

Preserving and maintaing this joyful, healthy life takes work.  There is no room for polluted environments in my future.  There is no room for toxic relationships.  I am taking a stand for the betterment of my life and the life of my future family.  Setting healthy boundaries is key and seems to be at the forefront of this trip.  There seems to always be some level of external resistance that occurs when the act of setting boundaries is put into place.  I enlisted the help of a shaman, who has assisted me before in resolving the conflicts within the karmic fields that no longer serve the evolution of my existence.  Over the past 12 years I have made it my personal practice to continuously make positive changes that reflect the path my life is heading. 

I am awake to the truth, I embrace the change that must be made, and I am grateful for this gift of clarity.  Resolving and evolving..praise goddesses <3 span="">

Mountain Rituals - Offerings of Truth

Unrelenting monsoon rains poured down upon us last nite for a good solid hour, just as we had completed the assembly of our shelter.   Tensions are always high on the day that we relocate the camper.  We have to compromise around the inconsistencies of our work schedules, pre-pack accordingly, and it is always a last minute decision as to where we will actually land.  Our summer pilgrimage began on May 1st, 2014; 9 completely different locations, landscapes, climate, and wildlife. 

In honor of what may be our last camping adventure in Colorado, I share with you this.

‘Throughout time the mountains have held archetypal significance in all cultures.  Mountains are sacred places. Humans have always sought out spiritual guidance and renewal among them.  The mountain is the symbol for the prime axis of the world (Mt. Meru). Mountains are the dwelling places of the gods (Mt. Olympus). The place where the spiritual leader encounters God and receives his/Her commandments and covenant (Mt. Sinai). They embody dread, harmony, harshness and majesty.  Yet, they are the place of visions, where one can touch the panoramic scale of the natural world and its intersection with life’s fragile but tenacious rootings. Mountains have played key roles in our history and pre-history and to traditional peoples, mountains were and still are mother, father, guardian, protector, and ally. Rising above all else on this planet, they beckon and overwhelm with their sheer presence.

This morning I woke up and encountered another view of jaw dropping beauty.  I  lovingly embraced it. The two hours that followed were filled with many questions, and many prayers.  

Sifting through and cleaning fire pits has become a ritual that takes place within the first 24 hours of our relocations.   The beauty here is real, and so is the facade it creates for all who visit and live among it.   For two thirds of the year these campsites are only accessible by snowmobile.  I am repeatedly astonished by the abundance of metals that I disover at every campsite; burnt, rusted, buried;  recyclable materials such as glass and plastic, melted, charred, fragmented.  

High altitude snow and rain in its purest, cleanest form saturates these creeks, rivers, streams, lakes, reservoirs, and gulches.  The earth’s magical magnetic force draws that water downward to the flat lands and beyond. Expanding its life giving energy, all the way to the ocean.  

My husband and I have spent many years of our lives accustomed to camping, in many states, on this continent. We like to play in the dirt. We like rocks. We like cleaning up forest debris and making a beautiful fire.

Tremendous beauty and pristine wilderness requires penalties placed among those earthlings, who think poisoning the ground water on any level is acceptable.  It takes a concerned community, a desire to protect the sacredness of these places, and strict laws and fines for those caught polluting.  

Our encounter with this sacred place has been intensely transformational.  I have seen some hard truths here.  Communities compromising the health of the lands and wildlife they hold sacred, in exchange for the necessity of tourism to keep the economy afloat.

The truth is, if this county restricted the use of ATV’s, dirt bikes, and policed what people where burning in the National Forest.  Tourists will still come and the land and wildlife will still be protected, and the economy would not suffer.  

This morning,  I build my first structural offering to honor our time here.  It is common to see these temples structures placed randomly among the mountains.  My most heartfelt prayer is for humanity to open and expand its conscious state of awareness. Complacency and ignorance no longer serve the greater need of this planet or the tribal communities that we have created here. 

Actions have consequences. Act out of love, act out of kindness, act out of service to this planet and our communities.      

Warmest Blessings

Rainbows. Snake Medicine. Coyote Magic.

August 4th, 2014, Crested Butte, CO

Living the dream doesn’t come without its hurdles.  It’s slightly before 10am. My view from my camp chair is a 360 degree panoramic display of incredibly mountains, high altitude beauty, blue skies with passing clouds.  Monsoon season here has been plentiful the past couple of weeks.  A wonderfully, heart warming visit from a very dear, old friend of ours and his mini-me of a daughter; lifted our spirits tremendously.  

Lately, Drew and I have begun fantasizing of the human amenities that we miss. As we have been living in our pop up for over 3 months now.  Our list includes, running water; which is our most used necessity, bath tub (epsom salt soaks), anything kitchen (Vita Mix, Crock Pot, Juicer), we miss growing things (sprouts, cultured veggies, kefir), things that require temperature control and proper storage space.

The concept of hurdles can certainly apply to those human things that we miss. The hurdles that go unseen and are by far the most life changing; are the private moments in a growing marriage.  Communication gets muddled, emotions come unhinged, and then the truth unravels.  These are the hard moments with golden outcomes.  Listening, shifting our awareness, de-programming, re-programming all require the act of letting IT go.  IT can be anything, old wounds, negative mind talk, setting aside un-useful patterns of single minded behavior trading it in for a group mind partnership and experience.  

Less than 36 hours ago a rainbow appeared over our campsite as the sun was setting and the monsoon was dissipating. Yesterday, a snake slithered across my path in the early evening. During the darkest hours of the morning, under a star-filled, milk way sky...the music of a coyote pack filled my soul with deep comfort.

I feel a kinship with the energy of the Coyote, I believe the teachings I am to gain from them is vast. For optimal survival they are reliant on a group-mind.  My brief snake encounter felt like a symbol of remembering the global shifts on this planet, as well as my own personal growth and transformation as the Kundalini continues to awaken in all of us.  Rainbows are created from a perfect harmonic unity that produces a symbol of supernatural beauty, promise, and enlightenment.

Awakening the heart,  embracing the group mind, flowing with the divine.

Gifts that come when acting from a place of devotion, surrender, and communing with nature.

Much Love to All!

  

Kindness Tonic

Very rarely, does the first hour of the morning upon waking go the way I would dream.  Tick removal, poop bag responsibilities, and an overstimulated mental capacity are not high on my list of a what I would consider to be a smooth sailing start to a new day.  A healing tonic of warm, lemon water with ginger and honey followed by meditation practice is the way I prefer my mornings to flow.  As I stood in the kitchen assembling my tonic, I could clearly recognize and connect to the sensation of external pressure being applied from all directions.  I meandered up to my mediation spot in our loft, lit a candle, unwound my mala beads, prepared my seat, set a timer, and closed my eyes.  

During the course of this practice, I adjusted my seat twice, as my left leg likes to fall asleep repeatedly.   I gently explored the depth of my breathe, while becoming one with my mantra.  As the messages surfaced, the pressure subsided, and I could once again step into some level of clarity.   The thoughts, ideas, and emotions that plagued my morning were replaced with permission to rest, to nourish, to seek more stillness.  

Perform acts of kindness toward oneself…what an idea!

Post meditation, I choose to hesitantly explore FB; I open it ever so briefly.  The first post I see is a “celebrity” yoga teacher being ostracised for showing all the colors of her life, not just the flowery parts.  I see another popular yoga teacher who keeps getting shut down by IG due to complaints from her followers for being raw, real, and vulnerable. Then, one of my dear friends, who also happens to be a yoga teacher; posted her experience of a new style of practice and wanted to swap insights with her followers.  As most of those posts were positive, there were clearly students who had strong unresolved issues of dislike toward the metamorphosis of the teachings and/or the teacher themselves.

Here I AM, receiving a clear signal from the core of my divine self to practice kindness.  In the very next instant I AM shown the magnitude at which the acts of unkindness plague our worldwide tribes, families, and communities.   

I AM guilty of being a spiritually guided student, teacher, and human; who at one time was unkind and placed judgement on the addictions of those serving as mentors in the alternative health care field. My heart sank when I witnessed the ripple effect of throwing that pebble of judgement into cyber space.
Too much honesty is apparently becoming undesirable, leaving the revolving door open to all levels of criticism or praise.  Undesirability, requires the act of desire to be present with expectations following close behind. When those expectations are not met, the judgement unravels directly upon ourselves, first. This is the fork in the road. Choose to either follow the path of judgement, while displaying your frustration in an unkind outwardly expressive manner OR check yourself into a time out corner on the path to spreading the kindness.

A kind bath, a kind lunch, a kind meditation, a kind yoga practice, a kind book break. 

Be your kindest self.

Insightful Inspiration

This morning I gifted my class with new moon abundance checks, in addition to a sweet grounding practice that was ushered in by the sound of their own breathe. As we entered the studio we were greeted by a fabulous altar of deities, flowers, feathers created with love in the center of the room. Having a congested head, sore throat, a cough and difficulty breathing, I was uncertain how I would face the challenge of teaching. Post class I received some wonderful feedback from new students and a fellow teacher. Heartfelt thank you’s followed by uplifting comments; the sequencing, the pace, and the subtle alignment cues were ah-ha moments for most.   But, once again I also heard thank you’s for not utilizing music.

The fast paced, competitive, sweaty, rock & roll style of yoga can be found in abundance these days. And it is without a doubt become a very popular enterprise for those seeking instant gratification in the form of calorie burn combined with a healthy dose of ego nourishment.

Six years ago, I converted from an Ashtanga practice that I adored; after receiving a consult from my Ayurvedic practitioner.  Every Tuesday afternoon for 2 plus years like clockwork, I arrived to partake of the sweaty, deep study and discipline that is the Ashtanga Primary Series. It satisfied a great need for me. I learned how to link breathe with movement, the invocation awoke a deep sense of divine connection and devotion, allowing me to fully awaken to my potential.  For the first time in my yoga studies I developed a regular home practice due to these teachings.  The therapeutic effects of this practice always left me feeling deeply cleansed, physically and emotionally.  The inner heat generated from this practice however was creating a variety of inflammatory issues within my Pitta constitution. As detoxifying as it was, it was not addressing the inner needs of my being in a balanced way and my Ayurvedic practitioner kindly brought that to my attention.  

The last 12 years of practicing yoga has taught me an abundance of things.  Studying and partaking of many different styles over the years, I find that I learn more from the practice of yoga when teachers can set aside the use of music.  The instructions can be understood more clearly, reducing the risk of injury to the practitioner, allowing them space to drop inside themselves. The distraction and the over stimulation of incorporating music seems to be a topic that continues to resurface with my students. The best classes I have ever engaged in, did not incorporate music. The 200-hrs of teacher training I engaged in did not utilize music.  The music is within, within the breathe, within the vibrations of synchronized voices chanting OM, within the sacred invocations and mantras.

I choose to teach without added distractions as a way of simply honoring the tradition and the foundation of yoga sadhana.  So many of us on this planet are feeling over stimulated in our daily lives.  As we walk into a yoga class and step onto our mats, each of us have a unique need to find balance in our lives, healing in our bodies, while connecting to the essence of joy within our hearts.  

My highest desire as a teacher is to be of service to my community, to be there guide, to offer my knowledge and experience in a variety of ways. To help each student dive deeper into the process of listening, reflection, non-judgement, and ultimate freedom within their own lives.  It’s an honor and a pleasure to learn from my students and this life long practice we call yoga.

Relocating to this magical mountain village has allowed my soul to expand greatly. My deep longing to be held in the pulsating arms of Gaia is coming to fruition.  The ever flowing, ever changing river of healing, near our cabin; was quick to invite me in. Offering and lending its soothing medicine, encouraging me to gently release and reconnect.  Intensely clear, sparkling night skies, give way to the decadent glow of moonlight medicine, saturating our cabin and my womb with it’s intensity. Bald eagles appear frequently; to validate that I AM tapped into the flow of this incredible universe, wherever I maybe.  More recently my attention has been captivated by numerous sightings and a very memorable encounter with the local fox’s.  I AM DEEPLY, in love, with fox energy. Every level of my being has gradually become saturated by the call of nature. Our surroundings provide us with all the teachings and lessons we need to reflect and bring awareness to our evolution of healing and heart expansion.  For the past 50 days I have diligently committed myself to a daily mantra and meditation practice.  Setting the seed of intention every morning, surrendering all things that no longer serve, offering myself as a servant to the infinite source of creation.  Moving inward takes courage, opening the veil of dissolution, peering thru it, to reveal the truth. Allowing the veil to remain open as we unwind the ties that keep us bound to a false reality. As the old patterns fall away, life begins to radiate with the fullness of divine love, abundance, and an unwaivering sense of universal trust.  Blessings on this Virgo Full Moon.

Phase 2

48 days ago I awoke from a groggy sleep and the first thing I thought to myself was, “I should not be feeling like this.” Moments later I found myself cleaning out my produce bins and dusting off my Jack Lalane juicer.  Juicing anything that was available, carrot, apple, ginger, and lemon.  A trip to the local Whole Foods for more juicing supplies came later that day, in addition to setting a timeline for this new journey.  I chose to juice for 35 days till my my 36^th birthday rolled around.  My ultimate goal with juicing was to detoxify my liver, flush my congested lymphatic system, eradicate my Candida, and eliminate all acid forming foods; primarily dairy, coffee, and processed sugar.  13 days ago I reached my goal successfully.  To my delight I am continuing to juice everyday, as it has changed my life and my health in miraculous ways. 

Just to clarify some things.  I am not an extremist when it comes to diets.  13 years ago, I began to notice how the mainstream medical community had failed me and my body.  It all started when I was 6yrs old, upon a hospitalization for a severe kidney infection.  My fever was dangerously high; add a nose bleed, and profuse dehydration.  After dozens of needle pricks, long periods of antibiotics, my kidneys were damaged.  That opened the door for Candida to walk in and make itself at home in my digestive tract.  By the time I was in my mid 20’s I had begun seeking alternative treatments for all these confusing symptoms I had been experiencing.  A dry blood analysis showed me everything.  The Candida was in my blood stream and it was choking the life out of my cells.

This leads me into today, Day 2 of Phase 2.  Yesterday, I began ingesting an enzyme from a silk worm, named Serrapeptase.  A huge side effect and symptom of Candida is its negative and harmful effects on the hormonal system.  My experience with this has mainly showed itself as ovarian cysts and Fibroid Cystic Breast Disease.  Phase 1 of simply juicing has prepared my temple for a massive flush of fibroid cysts.  This second Phase could take as long as 4 months to see results.  A major contributor to hormone imbalance is the ingestion of dairy, acid forming foods, unnatural chemicals, pesticides and antibiotics. Most of which you crave naturally when the Candida gremlins have sabotaged your system. 

The long term goal is to make my body a healthy environment for creating new life.  In addition to the juicing, and the Serrapeptase, I am ingesting a high quality Pre-natal vitamin to support my reproductive system.  I have noticed that the juicing has indeed thrown of the rhythm of my menstrual cycle off for the time being. This will probably be the case for many months to come as I rid myself of all that no longer serves me.

As important as nutrition is to this process, exercise is also a key factor in this equation.

For thousands of years, Yoga has brought healing to the mind, to the body and to the spirit.  Creating a place of harmony where disease and dysfunction can no longer exist.  As a student of yoga for 11 years, my practice has evolved significantly.  More importantly my practice of lately has been spotty and lacking the consistency I once had thrived upon. Due to the inspiration of a dear friend, the support of my local yoga community, and my undying devotion to these teachings, my inner fire as of last week has been re-ignited once again.  Many upcoming workshops in my area have sparked my interest, a group class once a week will keep me accountable for my daily home practices, and my once a month Kula practice is to never be missed.  My heart is open and I am listening.